Looking for ways to spice things up in the bedroom? Surprise yourself and your partner by being more present in the moment. That’s right, we’re talking mindfulness. Here’s how you can improve your sex life by getting in the right frame of mind…
1. De-stress to set the mood to sizzle
If you’ve had a long, stressful day at work or are feeling under constant pressure, you bring that energy to bed with you. Thinking about your never-ending to-do list or that upcoming appraisal is not going to get you in the mood now, is it? If you start letting go of your stressful energy then you will open yourself up to your partner in a more intense, irresistible way.
Whether it’s through meditation or running a relaxing bath, try and snap out of that wound-up mood to deal with stress before you get down to business.
2. Breathing techniques
If you’ve experimented with tantric techniques (and if you haven’t you might want to try to intensify that orgasm!) then you’ll be familiar with controlling your breathing. The same principle is often applied to mindfulness, so if you can practice and appreciate each deep breath, your sex life is sure to benefit.
3. Turn off inner-insecurities
For those that deal with body hang-ups and insecurities, the prospect of revealing all of themselves to their partner may seem daunting. Which means while you might be stripping down bare on the outside, on the inside your inner voice of self-doubt and critique may start rearing its ugly head which can disrupt your flow. Through the art of mindfulness, you can teach yourself to switch off that inner dialogue and focus more on your partner.
4. More patience
You’ll be surprised how many things can be improved by mindfulness – and patience is one of them. Through mindfulness you can appreciate what is happening on your own time frame and never someone else’s, which can help you enjoy the ride more than racing to the finish line.
Relationships flourish when compromise, patience and thoughtfulness come into play so any improvement on these skills is only going to benefit your love life and friendship with your partner.
5. Less arguments = more opportunities for sex
Make-up sex and angry sex may look hot on the big screen, but in reality the resentment towards your partner after an argument might not miraculously disappear after an intense ‘sesh’. So instead of seeing sex as a tool for reconciliation, go straight to the root of the problem and tackle that.
Mindfulness makes you a better listener as you’re not distracted by screens/thoughts/schedules and once you start listening to your partner you are able to resolve any disagreements in a calmer manner. And once the bickering is nipped in the bud, the rest will be history…
Top tips to instantly spice up your sex life
If you’ve been busy practising the art of mindfulness, but find you need a little extra help in the bedroom department then fear not! Our sex-pert Alix Fox recommends these quick and easy ways to add more heat between the sheets…
Use a vibrator
Make a vibrator do double duty - get your partner to rest a toy on both of you so you both feel the ripples of pleasure. This is great for foreplay and will be mutually beneficial!
Make more noise
This is an instant free sex tip (although don't ruin the lives of your neighbours in the process!). It will feel really liberating and also be a bit of a stress reliever. Or if the noises aren’t your thing then even something as simple as breathing deeply can create or enhance orgasms because you are delivering sensation to your body.
Upgrade your protection
Make sure you’re using condoms that fit perfectly. Or upgrade to a sexed-up variation, like tingle/heat/extra thin.
Need a little extra help in the bedroom?