Superdrug’s You Before Yes Campaign delves deeper into the crucial, but often overlooked world, of consent. It opens up important conversations about what it actually means, helping you feel in the know and empowered to find your voice when it comes to all things consent. In this blog post from the series, Sophie, Education & Wellbeing Specialist at Brook, discusses consent and what it means.
So, what is consent?
Put simply, consent means agreement to do something or giving permission for something to happen. In reality, however, consent is so much more than this! Consent is for everyone and not always just about sex. It’s about healthy communication and respecting boundaries.
There are lots of ways that we give and get consent in our everyday lives, like asking “Can I borrow this?” or “Would you like a hug?”
Consent is about looking for an enthusiastic, full-bodied communication of the word ‘YES!’ However, that person does not always have to say the word ‘yes’. It could be non-verbal communication, a thumbs-up, somebody reaching their arms out in reciprocation of a hug.
If we get a response like “I guess so” or “Whatever”, this wouldn’t be considered enthusiastic consent. At Brook, we encourage people to question and check-in whether that person is consenting or not by asking questions like “Are you sure?” and if we are still not sure whether a person is consenting, it’s best to take these answers as a no.
The UK law states that people who are aged 16 and over can legally consent to having sex. This law applies to people of all genders and sexualities. The law does not exist to criminalise and prosecute young people under the age of 16 having sex, but rather protect them from physical and emotional harm.
It’s important to remember that when we talk about sex, we’re not just talking about penis in vagina sex. Sex can involve penetration of the mouth, vagina or anus. It could be sexual touching, including mutual masturbation and oral sex.
The Sexual Offences Act 2003 (England and Wales) states that in order to give consent freely, someone must have the freedom to choose (not pressured, forced, blackmailed or manipulated), have the capacity to understand what they are consenting to (not drunk or high, asleep or a child) and have the choice to retract their consent at any time. Any sort of sexual contact without consent is illegal, whatever the age of the people involved. There is lots more information about sex and consent on Brook’s website.
We all have a legal right and responsibility to negotiate consent. We can never assume someone is giving us their permission, even if we are in a romantic relationship or somebody appears to be sexually aroused. Consent is continuous, which means that people can change their mind – even if they are in the middle of a sexual act or have previously engaged in the sexual act. If you’re not sure, you can always pause and ask. If you’re still not sure, then stop.
Top tips for communicating consent
There is often the misconception that consent is only about communicating what you don’t want to do, when in reality it can be just as much about communicating what you do want to do. Here are some top tips for communicating consent:
1. Establish a safe space for discussing desires, boundaries, and consent. This can be done outside of the bedroom or in a non-sexual context, creating an environment where everyone feels comfortable expressing their needs and limits.
2. Use affirmative language: Frame your requests in a positive and affirmative manner. Instead of asking, “Is it okay if I do this?” consider using statements such as “I find it really sexy when we do Y, are you into exploring that?” If you and your partner enjoy dirty talk, you can weave consent into your sensual conversations. Phrases like, “Tell me what you want me to do” allow for the communication of consent while maintaining a sexy atmosphere.
3. Pay attention to non-verbal cues: Non-verbal communication can be an important aspect of asking for consent. Observe your partner’s body language, vocal cues, and responses during intimate moments. Positive non-verbal cues, like enthusiastic participation or moans of pleasure can indicate consent and enjoyment. Sudden silence or freezing are a sign that something might be wrong.
Remember, if someone forces you to do something you do not want to, it is never your fault and it is not ok. If this has happened, speak to someone you trust or reach out to an organisation like Brook or Childline so that you can get appropriate help and support. Find out more about where you can access support.
Home » So, what is consent?
So, what is consent?
Home » So, what is consent?
Superdrug’s You Before Yes Campaign delves deeper into the crucial, but often overlooked world, of consent. It opens up important conversations about what it actually means, helping you feel in the know and empowered to find your voice when it comes to all things consent. In this blog post from the series, Sophie, Education & Wellbeing Specialist at Brook, discusses consent and what it means.
So, what is consent?
Put simply, consent means agreement to do something or giving permission for something to happen. In reality, however, consent is so much more than this! Consent is for everyone and not always just about sex. It’s about healthy communication and respecting boundaries.
There are lots of ways that we give and get consent in our everyday lives, like asking “Can I borrow this?” or “Would you like a hug?”
Consent is about looking for an enthusiastic, full-bodied communication of the word ‘YES!’ However, that person does not always have to say the word ‘yes’. It could be non-verbal communication, a thumbs-up, somebody reaching their arms out in reciprocation of a hug.
If we get a response like “I guess so” or “Whatever”, this wouldn’t be considered enthusiastic consent. At Brook, we encourage people to question and check-in whether that person is consenting or not by asking questions like “Are you sure?” and if we are still not sure whether a person is consenting, it’s best to take these answers as a no.
The UK law states that people who are aged 16 and over can legally consent to having sex. This law applies to people of all genders and sexualities. The law does not exist to criminalise and prosecute young people under the age of 16 having sex, but rather protect them from physical and emotional harm.
It’s important to remember that when we talk about sex, we’re not just talking about penis in vagina sex. Sex can involve penetration of the mouth, vagina or anus. It could be sexual touching, including mutual masturbation and oral sex.
The Sexual Offences Act 2003 (England and Wales) states that in order to give consent freely, someone must have the freedom to choose (not pressured, forced, blackmailed or manipulated), have the capacity to understand what they are consenting to (not drunk or high, asleep or a child) and have the choice to retract their consent at any time. Any sort of sexual contact without consent is illegal, whatever the age of the people involved. There is lots more information about sex and consent on Brook’s website.
We all have a legal right and responsibility to negotiate consent. We can never assume someone is giving us their permission, even if we are in a romantic relationship or somebody appears to be sexually aroused. Consent is continuous, which means that people can change their mind – even if they are in the middle of a sexual act or have previously engaged in the sexual act. If you’re not sure, you can always pause and ask. If you’re still not sure, then stop.
Top tips for communicating consent
There is often the misconception that consent is only about communicating what you don’t want to do, when in reality it can be just as much about communicating what you do want to do. Here are some top tips for communicating consent:
1. Establish a safe space for discussing desires, boundaries, and consent. This can be done outside of the bedroom or in a non-sexual context, creating an environment where everyone feels comfortable expressing their needs and limits.
2. Use affirmative language: Frame your requests in a positive and affirmative manner. Instead of asking, “Is it okay if I do this?” consider using statements such as “I find it really sexy when we do Y, are you into exploring that?” If you and your partner enjoy dirty talk, you can weave consent into your sensual conversations. Phrases like, “Tell me what you want me to do” allow for the communication of consent while maintaining a sexy atmosphere.
3. Pay attention to non-verbal cues: Non-verbal communication can be an important aspect of asking for consent. Observe your partner’s body language, vocal cues, and responses during intimate moments. Positive non-verbal cues, like enthusiastic participation or moans of pleasure can indicate consent and enjoyment. Sudden silence or freezing are a sign that something might be wrong.
You can find more tips about how to give and get consent on Brook’s website.
Remember, if someone forces you to do something you do not want to, it is never your fault and it is not ok. If this has happened, speak to someone you trust or reach out to an organisation like Brook or Childline so that you can get appropriate help and support. Find out more about where you can access support.
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