Why we all deserve better Relationships and Sex Education

Lisa Hallgarten, Head of Policy and Public Affairs, Brook

If your experience of sex education was like mine (watching a film of a baby being born in full technicolour *winces*, or staring at a display of blown up photographs of the genitals of people with STIs *winces even more*), then you may wonder what good sex education would even look like.

Only 14% of people surveyed by Superdrug thought their sex education was good or very good and 39% thought their poor sex education had negatively impacted their understanding of sex and relationships.

Thousands of adults in the UK have left school without learning the really basic stuff like, how male and female bodies develop through puberty and into adulthood, the basics of the menstrual cycle and human reproduction and how to protect yourself against STIs and unintended pregnancy.

Even if you learned this info, or had the chance to roll a condom over a banana/courgette/plastic penis (delete as applicable), the chances are your teacher was blushing like a beetroot, the class joker pulled a condom over his head and it all felt a bit too embarrassing to be educational.

Too often reluctant teachers are forced to stand in front of the class, mumbling about things they learned nothing about themselves either when they were at school or in teacher training. Sex education or Relationship and Sex Education (RSE) isn’t rocket science, but it is a specialist subject. It’s got its own vocabulary and pedagogy (teaching method) and involves a lot of vital information that people will need throughout their lives.

Good RSE is not just a list of facts. It’s also about learning to communicate and listen, and learning to be comfortable and confident discussing sex with your GP, a pharmacist, or at a sexual health centre like Brook. It’s about knowing what a safe, healthy relationship looks and feels like and when and how to call it a day and walk away if it doesn’t feel right. Or crucially how to identify abusive and harmful behaviour and get help.

Young people have told me that having a conversation about sex with a partner feels more awkward and embarrassing than actually having sex! That probably means that lots of people aren’t even really talking about consent and whether or not they want sex, let alone what they’d like to do or not do with their partner. It means that some people would rather risk pregnancy or an STI, than talk to their partner about putting on a condom. Getting comfortable talking about sex is so important in keeping us safe, healthy and making sure sex is a positive experience for everyone.

In this world of content, content, content, you might expect to be able to find anything you need to know about sex, via social media. There is so much useful information online from websites like Brook’s, with pages on everything from contraception to being LGBT+, to information about bodies, relationships and more. There are also brilliant body positive, well-informed sex ed influencers. But there’s lots on there that’s inaccurate and unhelpful too. The internet is a treasure trove, but learning how to pick out the real gems of information from the fake jewels and cheap trinkets is a skill in itself.

That’s why we agree with the 73% of people surveyed by Superdrug who think that improved Relationships and Sex Education is vital. When it’s good, RSE is interesting, informative and thought-provoking. It gives young people vital life skills to help them thrive and it’s why we work every day to make it better for every young person in every school.