If the most you got in sex ed was a steamy sesh with a banana and a condom while your mates wet themselves laughing (ah, the memories), you’ve come to the right place to learn a lil more. We asked our resident sexpert and orgasm oracle Alix Fox to answer all your burning questions about The Big O. Also known as a ‘climax’ or ‘coming’, an orgasm is an intense and powerful feeling of sexual pleasure and release. Sound good? It should! Let’s delve a little deeper…
1. Do women have orgasms every time they have sex?
Pfft! We wish. Sadly, most women (two out of three, to be precise) miss out on the O when they have sex with their partner – DIY, anyone?! This is probs because a whopping 80% of women need clitoral stimulation to climax. Penetrative sex just doesn’t cut it sometimes. When it comes to us gals, it really is all about pressing that magic button (don’t actually press it, though – that’s not how it works).
2. How long do orgasms last?
An orgasm can last for a few blissful moments, or it can last for a minute – it depends on your body and the kind of stimulation you’re getting. The average time is between three and 30 seconds.
3. Is it normal for women to fake orgasms?
Yep, so don’t feel alone if you do this. You might ask why. Well, sometimes women want to protect their partner’s ego and make them feel they’re hitting the spot. What lots of you may not know is that men fake it sometimes, too. In one study, one out of four of men said they pretended to ejaculate during sex. But when it comes to orgasms, ‘fake it till you make it’ isn’t really a motto to live by. If you really want to feel the O, you’re gonna have to be honest and work with your partner to find out what ticks your boxes.
4. How achievable is it to have a simultaneous orgasm?
Alix rightly calls this ‘the hallowed ourgasm’. Well, we come bearing good news (pun intended): it is indeed possible to climax at the same time as your partner. Hold your horses, though, pleasure pants – it’s quite difficult to achieve. But if you really want to come with company, try Durex Mutual Climax Condoms. They’re ribbed to speed her up, and they contain a teensy bit of anaesthetic to slow him down – worth a try, right?
5. Do women ejaculate?
You might know it as ‘squirting’ or ‘gushing’. Whatever you call it, the answer is yep! Doctors disagree on what the liquid is and where it comes from, but the fact is that some women can produce loadsa liquid from their genitals.
6. Can men orgasm without ejaculating?
The answer is yes! It can take a lot of practice and control, but men can feel all those fab sensations without releasing any ejaculate.
7. What is premature ejaculation, and is it normal?
Premature ejaculation is when a guy comes before he wants to. By this we mean just before or a few moments into sexual stimulation. If this happens to you a few times, don’t worry – it’s perfectly normal. If you’re arriving before the party’s started more than 50% of the time, though, it’s worth having a check-up with your doc.
8. Will condoms stop you having an orgasm?
No, but they can stop you contracting an STI or having an unwanted pregnancy. Never pass up on protection.