That’s it. Our summer is sorted. We no longer need to fill our evenings with pointless plans just to feel like we have a social life (I’m sorry Rob from Tinder, it’s not you it’s me.) Because Love Island was back with a bang on Monday night and we serrrrriously couldn’t be happier.
The Islanders were as preened and immaculate as one has come to expect from this show, with not an inch of body fat in sight and abs you could quite literally grate your mature cheddar on. In their brief intros to cam, they all professed their desire to find their ‘one true love’ (we’re guessing they don’t count themselves), but it’s never really as easy as it sounds, is it? Espesh when you’re in a house full of young, hot singles. Here’s a recap of our fave moments from the first week in the villa.
Marcel takes Miss GB's crown
Remember in the last series when Zara Holland continuously talked about being Miss GB while insisting she really HATED talking about it? Yeah, well we have a similar sitch on our hands thanks to Marcel, who used to be in Blazin’ Squad – y’know that boyband made up of 10 miniature gangsters telling us to meet them at the crossroads? Olivia was the first to be informed, with Marcel clearly fishing for the kind of reaction you’d get if you just told someone they’d won the Euromillions. However, Olivia (…surprisingly) seemed nonplussed, and you could see the cogs turning while she desperately searched her brain trying to work out who they were.
Marcel, it may not be cool now, but just think how many prepubescent boys’ school disco outfits you inspired.
The Montana-Dom-Jess love triangle
Montana and Dom originally coupled up and it looked like we were heading for another Love Island proposal (getting a bit too ahead of ourselves?) but we all know it’s never THAT plain sailing. The first twist of the series was the unexpected arrival of gorgeous Jessica, who was told she had two days before she’d have to steal couple up with one of the lads, leaving one girl a Single Pringle. It was pretty clear she had her sights set on Dom from the get-go, much to the anger of Montana, who was acting like they were already six months’ deep into a relationship. As you can see, Dom was really struggling to deal with two really hot girls fighting over him.
Shock horror – when it was time for Jess to pounce, her chosen (willing) prey was of course Dom. Montana tried to cling on for dear life but it was clear that she was fighting a losing battle. We’re not completely ruling out MonDom yet, though, as we all know how much ship jumping goes on in that villa…
First (awkward) dates
Newbies Jonny and Chris touched down in the villa, much to the dismay of the ‘we’re not one bit threatened’ clearly-completely-threatened boys. The public decided that Jonny and Camilla should go for a hot date on the hideaway terrace, which made for extreeeeeemely uncomfortable viewing and reminded us of that Bumble date we called quits on after suddenly contracting a non-existent life threatening illness.
Montana was picked to go on a date with Chris, which was equally uncomfortable when he stated he is ‘better than David Beckham’ and repeatedly asked her if he could feel her bum. Smoooooooth.
Amber is keeping her basket WIDE open
Amber seems to be taking no prisoners in the villa, after initially coupling up with Harley, moving swiftly on to Kem, then telling new boy Jonny ‘My basket’s open’ (take it as you will). We can’t help feeling for Kem, who told Sam he had “goosebumps” when he was having his first snogathon with Amber. Anyone know if there’s a spare room going in Heartbreak Hotel ‘cos Kem’s gonna need it.
Watch our exclusive Q & A with islander Montana...