Bridget’s back! So to celebrate the release of her new film, we thought we’d bring you our favourite ever Bridget lines…

On leaving her job and being asked by Daniel to stay

‘Thank you, Daniel, that is very good to know. But if staying here means working within 10 yards of you, frankly, I’d rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein’s behind.’

On dieting

‘I realise it has become too easy to find a diet to fit in with whatever you happen to feel like eating and that diets are not there to be picked and mixed but picked and stuck to, which is exactly what I shall begin to do once I’ve eaten this chocolate croissant.’

On best friends

‘If you are single, the last thing you want is your best friend forming a functional relationship with somebody else.’ 

On her boss

‘Most of the time I just want to staple things to her head.’

On post-Christmas blues

‘Was really beginning to enjoy the feeling that normal service was suspended and it was OK to lie in bed as long as you want, put anything you fancy into your mouth, and drink alcohol whenever it should chance to pass your way, even in the mornings. Now suddenly we are all supposed to snap into self-discipline like lean teenage greyhounds.’

On Spanx

‘Am going late-night underwear shopping tonight with Magda to solve figure problems in short term. Means cannot go to gym but sturdy undergarment much more effective in short term than gym visit.’

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On grooming

‘Completely exhausted by entire day of date preparation. Being a woman is worse than being a farmer – there is so much harvesting and crop spraying to be done.’

On break-ups

‘At times like this, continuing with one’s life seems impossible... and eating the entire contents of one’s fridge seems inevitable. I have two choices: to give up and accept permanent state of spinsterhood and eventually be eaten by Alsatians, or not, and this time I choose not. I will not be defeated by a bad man and an American stick insect! Instead, I choose vodka. And Chaka Khan.’

On ice cream

‘I’m enjoying a relationship with two men simultaneously. The first called Ben, the other Jerry.’